Nothing To Live For
by Beautiful-Me89
Summary: What's Nathan to do when everything in his life is not right. Nathan feels that the only way out of this life is to die. But can he find something to live for?


AN: Hey you guys I've been reading a lot of OTH fics and I decided to write my own. When, I wrote this story it took up ten pages in my notebook (back and front). So It might not come out long, Well, this is my first OTH fic so, go easy on me! This story is going to be in Nathan's POV. I hope you enjoy it and I give praises to all my fellow fan fic writers out there. Well, enough of me talking on with the story.  
  
[b]~Nothing To Live For ~[/b]  
  
Have you ever been in love before? Well, I have. I never believed in love. My dad taught me not to. I hate my life so much; I just want to kill myself sometimes. I mean I have a dad who's a complete and utter ass, a mom who recently decided to spend more time at home. Then there's my half brother Lucas. Lucas is dad's non-existent son who I can't get along with. Then you have the angel sent from God himself; Haley. Haley is just the most beautiful girl in the world. She's very smart, strong, and caring.  
  
You see I needed to find something that would get to Lucas. I needed to find his weakness. I'm at my locker one day with my friend Tim. I ask him who's that girl Lucas is always hanging out with. Then he tells me it's his friend Haley James. I could see how Lucas cares about her. That's when I found my way to get to Lucas; Haley. She was his weakness, but little did I know she would soon become mines.  
  
If you're confused, I don't blame you. You see the task to get to Haley was not simple. I had to find out about her. When I asked people they told me a lot of things, but the thing that helped me was that she was a tutor. It was the perfect cover, besides I was failing Math and English so, it would be easy. Oh, boy was I ever wrong. When, I first asked her for help she turned me down in a heartbeat. Then I came back to her the next day and I told her I would be fine and she said good. Then I told her "F" is for fine right. Then I turned and walked out the door. Then later at night she came to my house and I was surprised to see her. She told me she'd tutor me on two conditions. The conditions were I stop hazing Lucas and that Lucas never finds out about her tutoring me. I agreed, but little did she know Lucas would find out.  
  
When, we first started our tutoring sessions, I had a feeling that she knew I was just using her, but she never said anything. Soon, I looked forward to our tutoring sessions. Haley and I (she taught me that) would talk about things that I wouldn't tell anyone else. We usually did this before we started on our work then talked some more if we had time left.. I loved talking to Haley. She listened to me and she didn't judge me and that's why I fell for her. Oh, and believe me I feel hard.  
  
Haley had been tutoring me for three months before I was able to tell her how I feel. After I kissed her that day in the tutoring center we've been together ever since. Well, at least up until three weeks ago that is. I don't know what happened, but it just ended.  
  
I've been devastated ever since that day. I miss her so damn much. Ever since the day we broke up I always blamed Lucas. I just felt like it was his fault that my five-month relationship with Haley ended. I blamed him because he was her best friend. He was always in the way of our relationship. Then, I started to realize last week it wasn't Lucas, I should be blaming. I shouldn't be blaming him, my dad, my mom, Tim, Peyton, Brooke, Whitey, or Haley. The person who I should be really blaming is me. Yes, I should be blaming myself.  
  
I ruined the best thing that's happened to me; Haley. It was my entire fault. Everyone thought I couldn't change, but Haley changed me. Well, at least for a while. I don't think she changed me completely. People told her to be careful if she started something with me. Well, Haley being Haley didn't listen. She took her chance on me and I ruined everything.  
  
That's why I'm sitting here up in my room writing a letter for everyone I love. When I'm done with my last letter I will seal it and then kill myself.  
  
When, I'm finally finished with the last letter in which I wrote to Haley. I then got up and went to my closet and pulled out a box. I open the box and take out the gun I stole from my dad. I don't even think he knows it's missing. Just like my dear old' dad always thinking about anything, but how I feel.  
  
As, I put the gun to my head I put my hand on the trigger ready to shot myself. As, I'm about to pull the trigger I look up at my desk and see all my pictures. As, I look at all of them I start have all these memories.  
  
I remember the first time when I found out Lucas was my brother, that's when I started hating him. Then, I remember when Brooke used to talk to me and how I had lost my virginity to her. Then I remembered the day I meet Peyton and when we started dating. I remember the day I joined the Ravens. I remembered how dad always pushed me to the limit. I remember the day I collapsed in the middle of a game in the gym.  
  
Then, I turned my eyes to the picture of Haley. My sweet, beautiful, amazing Haley. I remember the first time I kissed her in front of her house. I remembered how she was after I had collapsed. I remember the first time I made sweet and magical love to her. I never even made love to Peyton. I remember everything about her was just so pure. The day she walked into my life changed everything.  
  
As, I finished remembering everything I started to lower the gun from my head very slow. Soon, I was laying flat on my bed thinking. I was thinking that I have an answer, I figured out everything. I thought that there was something to stay for. That's when I had known.  
  
" I finally have something to live for." I said out loud. With that I got up and put the gun back in dad's room and came back to my room and shut the door then fell into a peaceful slumber. Oh, and if your wondering what I have to live for it's my life, my family, my friends, and my love.  
[b]THE END[/b]  
  
AN: I hope you enjoyed it and I'm currently working on another OTH fic. Oh, and to my avid readers of "A Moment Like This" I'm also currently working on chapter 5, but it might be a long wait for both of these stories. Well, please send me some feedback!!! 


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